Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you..

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food..

If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified..

My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice..

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, ….

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'.

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends..

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink..

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me..

I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick..

My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car..

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'.