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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.
MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher . .
COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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