Ambrose Bierce

Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.

Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.