PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, f….

ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden..

LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanq….

An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of t….

Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest..

In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred ….

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot..

me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is ….

A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end ….

DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the fo….

To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage..

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection..

ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity..

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition..

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured..

Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk..

art, n. This word has no definition..

CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain..

MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women..

WEATHER, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to….

J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, "jacere", "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a d….