RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comes….

To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result..

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm..

Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else..

Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observ….

MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all t….

To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand..

plagiarism, n. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honorable subsequence..

PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen….

GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason..

BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to ….

TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility..

There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets..

FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded hea….

ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists..

PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action..

PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it..

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An in….

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect..

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues..

PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery..