A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples..

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientis….

Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry….

A pessimist asked God for relief. Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness, said God. No, replied the petitioner, I wish you to create s….

Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code….

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men..

A revolution is a violent change of mismanagement..

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world..

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed..

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know..

Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain..

Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of error in an opponent..

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows..

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook..

Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the ho….

YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a ….

PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility..

OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is ….

It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inferen….

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.

When in Rome, do as Rome does..