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Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.
Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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