Explore Quotes by Amy Chua

To be honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting.

I sort of feel like people are not that honest about their own parenting. Take any teenage household; tell me there is not yelling and conflict.

Don't assume your child is weak. If you, the parent, assume that they can't take anymore, what kind of signal are you sending them?

I do think that maybe, even subconsciously, a lot of parents in the West are wondering, have we gone too far in the direction of coddling and protecting - you know, you see kids, sometimes that seem very rude and disrespectful. And the more important thing is they don't seem that happy.

Real self-esteem has to be earned. I also believe in virtuous circles, like, nothing is fun until you are good at it. It is great if you can instill in children the ability to not give up, to have a work ethic.

Kids raised to be pampered and spoiled don't really end up being good leaders. Leaders need to be independent minded and confident.

A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.' But, hey, if they've done something wrong, they should feel bad. Kids with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will be better at navigating the social shoals of college.

Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits, and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything.

Every day that you don't practice is a day you're getting worse.

Do you know what a foreign accent is? It's a sign of bravery.

Everything I've ever done that's valuable is something I was afraid to try.

Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.

But just because you love something, I added to myself, doesn't mean you'll ever be great. Not if you don't work. Most people stink at the things they love.

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable-even legally actionable-to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty-lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self image.

Nothing is fun until you're good at it.

Unlike Western parents, reminding my child of Lord Voldemort didn't bother me.

All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.

The truth is I'm not good at enjoying life.

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. pg 29

My dogs can't do anything--and what a relief. I don't make any demands of them, and I don't try to shape them or their future. For the most part, I trust them to make the right choices for themselves. I always look forward to seeing them, and I love just watching them sleep. What a great relationship.