A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.' But, hey, if they've done something wrong, they should feel bad. Kids with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will be better at navigating the social shoals of college.
Interpretation
Children need to learn responsibility and humility rather than entitlement.
In this quote, Amy Chua emphasizes the importance of instilling a sense of responsibility and humility in children. She argues that shielding children from feeling bad when they do wrong can hinder their growth, suggesting that experiencing discomfort is part of learning to navigate complex social environments, such as those found in college. Therefore, teaching children to appreciate gratitude and develop a strong moral compass will enable them to thrive in their future interactions.
In practice
This quote can be shared during a parenting workshop to encourage discussion about effective parenting strategies.
I was raised, myself, by extremely strict but also extremely loving Chinese immigrant parents. To this day, I believe that their having high expectations for me, coupled with love, was the greatest gift that anyone's ever given me. And so that's why, even though my husband is not Chinese, I try to raise my own two daughters the same way.
Once you get to the Enlightenment, the way that powers get to be hyperpowers isn't just by conquest. It's through commerce and innovation. Societies like the Dutch Republic and the United States used tolerance to become a magnet for enterprising immigrants.
Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.
Some parents let their kids sleep at other people's houses, where they drink alcohol, watch TV for hours and God knows what else. But if you say you have to get all A's and practice the violin for two hours, then they consider that abusive. That upsets me.
I'm suggesting that, ironically, the secret to becoming a world 'hyperpower' is tolerance. If you look at history, you see great powers being very tolerant in their rise to global dominance.
Education is not simply to learn to read and write. It's emancipation. It makes you free.
During my first semester of college, I raised my hand in a class and asked the professor to define a word I didn't know. The word was holocaust, and I had to ask because, until that moment, I had never heard of it.
How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child.
The child begins to perceive the world not only through his [or her] eyes but also through his [or her] speech
The greatest service that can be offered to children who show personality traits or inclinations that might not be understood by the adults around them is to allow them to express their own unique humanity.
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