I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance..

I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant..

If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice..

When I got into comedy, which was really for acting, I would see the guys who would be considered great today. They were great, but after a few minut….

I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic..

When I did a sitcom and played a postman, I was brought to tears playing that postman, because I felt like one. I didn't grow up even wanting to be a….

I just like to make people laugh..

All the subject matter I talk about isn't new; all comics talk about the same things. But it's how you talk about them or present them or what you lo….

If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl is aggressive. It's just sex..

I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her too special. They shut her of….

Anything that I wanted to do in my career that I wanted to do always worked out. The stuff I got talked into always failed. All the stuff I was talke….

When I do any stand-up, you're the writer, director, and producer. You're alone..

Women today are the biggest pigs today in history. They are just the dirtiest, nastiest slobs. I don't know how old your chick is, but the truth of t….

I like when something makes you think after you stop watching..

Comics, as good as they might be, they didn't know much about performance. There aren't too many comics you could watch for an hour without getting t….

People have always been animals when it comes to sex. But since the Internet, it's become really out of control, in my opinion..

I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, “I hate the rich.” From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just ….

There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude….

I never go see a comic. The only one I'd ever really want to see is Don Rickles. He might be 80 years old, but he blows everyone out of the water..

I always believed you could fix whatever problems..

The whole world has changed, so you just stay current with the world. There's nothing different in my language of how I say things..