Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people".

US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage..

The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years. Getting rid of it was long overdue..

Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight year….

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted..

John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service..

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one..

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'.

To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney..

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death..

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil..

A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog..

Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads..

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson..

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday..