I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the show isn't as funny..

The whole city [Manchester] just a real rock music vibe. It reminded me a lot of where I'm from..

It's better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don't get, I just make fun of myself for assuming that everybody knows everything about….

When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots..

I've battled with that type of stuff, but what I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I d….

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find y….

When you say, "there's no reason [to hit a woman]" that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, "there's no ….

There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet..

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure..

Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf….

I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, mos….

My neighbor's not even listening to me. He's all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He's convinced it was designed by NASA. "Act….

I heard a quote once in a documentary about a band that said you're better off owning everything 100 percent and selling 20,000 copies of an album th….

I never wanted to spend a month away from my life. One time I was out on the road for three weeks in a row and I when I came back someone had broken ….

I don't mind it. I just space it out. Every other week I go out. I used to get some time to myself but I've been pretty busy lately. But I've had it ….

You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, yo….

Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!.

It's a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There's good things and bad things..

Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He's the coolest. I've never met The Rock though..

I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth or sixth lead, and have three or four kil….

I mean, stand up you're by yourself and it's live and when you're acting, unless you're doing a monologue, you're interacting with somebody else. Eve….