I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find y….

So many people there are in politics that they're overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They're so damned concerned about what everyone else is th….

I've battled with that type of stuff, but what I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I d….

There are no winners in this election [2016]. I paid attention to it for about two months and then it just started to depress me. At least Hillary's ….

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet..

Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It's not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it's a pile of rocks next t….

There's a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone in an hour. If we ha….

I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just tryin….

Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel..

I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, mos….

People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is "looking for". ….

The whole city [Manchester] just a real rock music vibe. It reminded me a lot of where I'm from..

It's better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don't get, I just make fun of myself for assuming that everybody knows everything about….

When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots..

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in..

I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the show isn't as funny..

As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go..

I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot ….

You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have peo….

Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing..

Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber..