If you have a problem with the third act, the real problem is in the first act..

Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man. Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect..

If you don't like what you're doing, it's unlikely anyone else will either, so be sure you are happy with your own work first..

You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning..

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that Hitler was a German and Beethoven an Austrian..

Eighty percent of a picture is writing, the other twenty percent is the execution, such as having the camera on the right spot and being able to affo….

If there's anything I hate more than not being taken seriously, it's being taken too seriously..

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you..

Well, nobody's perfect..

I had one life. And what did I do? Wasted it in some palooka preliminaries in Spain, just before Hitler and Chamberlain warm up for the main event..

I just made pictures I would've liked to see..

She was an absolute genius as a comedic actress, with an extraordinary sense for comedic dialogue. It was a God-given gift. Believe me, in the last f….

My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie?.

You're as good as the best thing you've ever done..

Film’s thought of as a director’s medium because the director creates the end product that appears on the screen. It’s that stupid auteur theory agai….

Make subtlety obvious..

[about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel..

A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard..

An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark - that is critical genius..

[on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh's ear for music..

Don't be too clever for an audience. Make it obvious. Make the subtleties obvious also..