My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do….

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.

In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did..

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees..

I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them..

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot..

Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show..

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands.

Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself -- the Bank of America..

I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105..

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?.

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me..

I've got to watch myself these days. It's too exciting watching anyone else..

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the h….

The home videos aren't as good, but they are seeming to get better..

I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it..

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!.

For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green.

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of ….

It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division..

And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be a….