Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing..

To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory..

Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can't do it themselves!.

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me..

Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time..

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat..

Message? What the hell do you think I am, a bloody postman?.

I wish I'd been a mixed infant..

An author's first duty is to let down his country..

The sun was in mind to come out but having a look at the weather it was in lost heart and went back again..

Pound notes are the best religion in the world..

I ruined my health drinking to other people's..

Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer..

I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn't h….

The terrorist is the one with the small bomb..

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, ….

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in..

I am a drinker with writing problems..

There's no one, no one, loves you like yourself..

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice..

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started..