Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon..

I have a lot on my mind and not a lot to do so it's going to come out, all of it, and then, then, it may begin to make a sort of sense.

Scott: I don't think I'm ready to be a grown-up. Kim: I don't think you are either, buddy. But hey, you'll get it. It just takes practice..

I do get the sense sometimes that if I draw things too nice, maybe I won't be indie-rock enough anymore..

Writing music is sort of my hobby, but it's been falling off more and more. Doing comic books takes up my entire life..

Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Because you'll be dust on Monday. Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend. And the cleaning….

I'm 25 and just trying to understand women. Obviously, that is a process that never ends..

Somehow the pantsless gay man is not bringing the romance, Scott..

When you do your first book, you're just like, "This is my work." And it's just this whole other world that you throw yourself into..

Let's be friends based on mutual hate..

Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face..

I remember talking to someone who is vegan. At the time, I would hear a lot of outrageous claims from vegans about the good that being a vegan can do….

Anyway, how are you and Ramona doing?' Uh... you know. Pretty good.' Have you said the L-Word yet?' The L-Word? You mean? Lesbian?' Uh... No. The oth….

I'm too young to have experienced firsthand the '70s rock, but when I was in high school, me and my friends were super into Neil Young. That was the ….

‎All my stupid little thoughts beget stupid little thoughts, rampantly speculating every possible outcome of every possible situation until they're a….