My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run..

I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love..

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it cer….

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head..

No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at U….

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like….

What I do when I write is I just write the way I would tell it, so it comes out just exactly the way I would talk to you..

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know wh….

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy..

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington..

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing..

I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany..

Comedy = tragedy + time..

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away..

I think we're here for each other..

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?.

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes..

there were times when I was more at home in front of millions of people than I was at home..

Because nobody goes through life without a scar..

I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that..

I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee..