It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington..

Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief..

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn….

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?.

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing..

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it cer….

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy..

We don't stop going to school when we graduate..

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances..

You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order….

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like….

I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that..

The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.'.

People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows..

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me..

I always felt that I was more of an actress than a - I can't tell a joke to save my soul, but that I was a comedic actress..

I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis..

No matter what, when you major in theater arts whether you want to write or be a director or design scenery or whatever, when you are a freshman at U….

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head..

Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn't a mean thought in his body. I've always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart..

I have a great memory..