Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip throu….

Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that..

Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I'd have to do it soon 'cause it's getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gyn….

I cried when I turned 34 for no other reason than 34 sounded old to me at the time..

Like a lot of women, I'm bisexual. Once I have sex with you - bye!.

Growing up, it was always, 'If you buy kosher meat, they're killed humanely.' But I've seen so many horrible videos. What we thought was humane 100 y….

I don't exercise. My philosophy is: No pain, no pain..

Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer dise….

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon..

Long Island - if you're from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G..

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage..

I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it..

I feel I've always got to keep my stand-up because I never want to lose it..

My kind of gay, meeting a woman and falling in love, is a different experience because it wasn't anything about 'Oh, I've always been gay and I'm bre….

I'm wearing a new perfume that I should recommend to the women in the audience; it's called 'Tester..

My father was a huge influence on me..

My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention..

I'm sorry I didn't have this revelation earlier. I sleep better and more soundly because I'm not participating anymore..

Some people have their marriages annulled, which means they never existed. Boy, talk about denial! What do you say when people see your wedding album….

I recently became vegan because I felt that as a Jewish lesbian, I wasn't part of a small enough minority. So now I'm a Jewish lesbian vegan..

When you're single again, at the beginning you're very optimistic and you say, 'I want to meet someone who's really smart, really sweet, really sensi….