Explore Quotes by Charlie Brooker

My bookshelves chiefly function as a snapshot of what I was reading prior to the invention of the Kindle.

The fashion industry is the worst possible vessel for conveying an ethical message about anything.

I do worry about civil unrest, or complete collapse of society, or having to flee, or Europe falling into a war.

If someone doesn't respond to a phone call, I think they've died.

There are different groups of people in your life that you behave slightly differently with. You behave one way with your family. You behave in a different way with your work colleagues. You behave differently with your friends from the movie club, your fitness instructor - all subtly different personas.

I can't imagine painting my face in a team colour and roaring with delight as a multi-millionaire kicks a ball at a net.

What I disliked most about working as a shop assistant wasn't the occasional snooty customer or the shop or the hours, but the way people reacted when I told them I was a shop assistant - their automatic assumption that I didn't enjoy it.

Banking, as far as I can tell, seems to be almost as precise a science as using a slot machine. You either blindly hope for the best, delude yourself into thinking you've worked out a system, or open it up when no one's looking and rig the settings so it'll pay out illegally.

I'm no financial expert. I scarcely know what a coin is. Ask me to explain what a credit default swap is, and I'll emit an unbroken 10-minute 'um' through the clueless face of a broken puppet. You might as well ask a pantomime horse.

I didn't pass my degree due to never handing in an acceptable dissertation, and while it didn't harm me in the long run, my failure to complete the course properly probably led me to spend the next six years or so coasting, unsure of what to do next.

God, people say 'Black Mirror' was horrible - it's nothing compared to the stuff that happens in 'Grimms' Fairy Tales.' It's mind-bending.

I remember I was changing to one phone from another and going through my old contact details, and so I was having to delete duplicate numbers to make room, and up came the name of someone who died, and... it felt hard to delete the name.

'MasterChef''s preliminary stages deliver just the right level of almost-drama for viewers feeling shagged out after a hard day's fruitless existence.

Our metropolises are blighted by two problems: a lack of public transport and a lack of public loos.

Getting a moral lecture from the fashion industry is like Jeffrey Dahmer criticising your diet.

People bemoan the loss of watercooler chat, but I think that there's more of that than ever. It's just that it's online.

My career path is like crazy paving - it goes all over the place.

When it comes to something like Brexit, I am part of the liberal-media London bubble, and so, to me, voting to leave was madness. My perspective was that it was cutting off your nose to spite your face.

In the age of social media, everyone's a newspaper columnist, exaggerating what they think and feel.

The logical quandaries thrown up by well-meaning systems are clearly something that I find darkly amusing.

I wanna do some more goofy comedy stuff; I really enjoyed doing 'A Touch of Cloth.'