Craig Ferguson

I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.

I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel.

A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself.

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.

When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die.

The Universe is very, very big. It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules. Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever. Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies. Rule number two: Everything lasts forever.

I used to believe, like many people who come from poor backgrounds, that it gave me an edge, but I think that's just something we have to tell ourselves to get by sometimes. I don't believe that anymore. Children of privilege can be just as talented and clever as anybody else.

Be careful who you choose as your hero or who you choose to deify, be it Clay Aiken or Barack Obama. You put all you're hope and all your dreams and all your ideas about stuff into one human being. They're a human being they're going to let you down. You can't make someone your hero because of something you read on the internet. The internet is not a source of information it is a source of disinformation.