Occupation: Professor Birth: June 7, 1945
The argument culture urges us to approach the world - and the people in it - in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposit….
[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates wher….
Critiquing relieves you of the responsibility of doing integrative thinking..
Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their feelings in orde….
For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships..
To say that a person feels listened to means a lot more than just their ideas get heard. It's a sign of respect. It makes people feel valued..
The desire for freedom and independence becomes more of an issue for many men in relationships, whereas interdependence and connection become more of….
Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict..
Girls are not accustomed to jockeying for status in an obvious way; they are more concerned that they be liked..
Though all humans need both intimacy and independence, women tend to focus on the first and men on the second. It is as if their lifeblood ran in dif….
Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same..
We tend to look through language and not realize how much power language has.
Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence.
The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation - or a relationship..
All communication is more or less cross-cultural. We learn to use language as we grow up, and growing up in different parts of the country, having di….
Public discourse requires making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument - as in having a fight..
Each person's life is lived as a series of conversations..
More men feel comfortable doing "public speaking," while more women feel comfortable doing "private" speaking..
Male-female conversation is cross-cultural communication.
Words can be like weapons of destruction: It takes so much effort, and the cooperation of so many people, to build something - and so little effort o….
Like most men, my father is interested in action. And this is why he disappoints my mother when she tells him she doesn't feel well and he offers to ….