Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician..

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty..

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host..

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue..

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye..

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks..

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to..

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity..

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements ….

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised..

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme..

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common..

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be..

A hangover is the wrath of grapes..

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave..

Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckle….

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think..

When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world.….

Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat..

Don't look at me in that tone of voice..