Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty..

A hangover is the wrath of grapes..

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks..

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience..

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue..

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity..

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to..

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician..

Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat..

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment..

When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world.….

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised..

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme..

Don't look at me in that tone of voice..

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements ….

Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckle….

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty..

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think..

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be..

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye..