Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone..

Adulthood feels like walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you..

And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done ….

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?.

Nothing can make me feel better now, except cocaine..

I need a healthy injection of cynicism right now..

I don't mind most religious people, I talk to them. I listen to them, you know, banging on. "I prayed very hard and then the fairy came." "Did he? Go….

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow..

Have I had therapy? I went to a yoga class once..

I used to live with two other guys. We used to cook two things. The first one was called 'cheese... thing' and that was where you get something and y….

You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for German….

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it..

The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it; how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your o….

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in ….

You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to ….

Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what peop….

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand....

Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures..

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know th….

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot ….