Frank Zappa

I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.

The richest people in the world aren't particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren't particularly smart or rich.… That leaves me making music. But we can't talk about that.

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality. Freedom of speech, freedom of religious thought, and the right to due process for composers, performers and retailers are imperiled if the PMRC and the major labels consummate this nasty bargain.

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.

Music is always a commentary on society.

I'm more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot.

Let’s be realistic about this, the guitar can be the single most blasphemous device on the face of the earth. That’s why I like it . . . The disgusting stink of a too-loud electric guitar: now that’s my idea of a good time.

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST.

Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.

The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that.

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia. Eventually within the next quarter of a century, the nostalgia cycles will be so close together that people will not be able to take a step without being nostalgic for the one they just took. At that point, everything stops. Death by Nostalgia.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.

Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.

I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.