Explore Quotes by Frankie Boyle

If leadership is about listening, the great political speeches would have been a little different.

Admittedly, the Conservatives are generally more persuasive orators than their Labour counterparts, perhaps a skill developed by spending school holidays trying to lure father out from behind his Daily Telegraph.

I worry about everything in this country in particular.

If you're an activist trying to do something important, I salute you. Most of us just give ourselves ethical brownie points for watching Channel 2 instead of Channel 3, like characters in a broad dystopian satire.

Supporting Celtic, waving a tricolour because your parents are Irish - that's a valid culture.

I did a ski festival in Austria once. I was struck by how friendly Austrians were, before gradually realising it's more that Glaswegians are awful.

If we can look at another human being and categorise them as 'illegal,' or that chilling American word 'alien,' then what has become of our own humanity?

Ed Miliband's anti-immigration stance is odd: it's hard to vote for a man who doesn't have the confidence to defend his own existence.

There is no doubt I have offended many people. No doubt, also, that I have blasphemed. I sometimes try to offend as part of my routine - after all, the essence of humour, even in a child, is the effort to shock and surprise.

People internalise marketing.

The truth is that modern governments sit at the head of a well-funded security apparatus. They are told that foreign military adventures put domestic populations at risk and they give them the thumbs up anyway.

Consumer culture needs us to be impulsive, while our political culture fears that we will ever develop discipline.

Having our privacy exposed is particularly crushing for the British - a nation for whom the phrase: 'How are you?' really means: 'Please say one word, then leave me alone.'

Of course, it's absurd that we trust the Tories with our day-to-day reality, as so many of them don't really inhabit it. Why elect people to run our schools and hospitals who choose not to go to those schools and hospitals?

I'm totally off any caffeine now.

I think we live in a quite an immoral society with quite an amoral government and they're going to have to grow up in that and negotiate their own way in it.

In the future we will all be famous for 15 minutes. It will be on a daytime magazine programme and we will each wear a tasteful shirt and slacks combination. We'll be interviewed by a soothing voice under a clock that's permanently set to 4pm. We will talk about the weather. We will record for months to get 15 minutes they can use in the edit.

In a lot of farther-flung places in Scotland people are guarded at first, but as soon as they get to know you they really hate you.

How hard is it to get female panellists?

I absolutely loathe adverts. I won't go into the cinema until 20 minutes after the film is due to start because there are so many.

That's what I do in my stand-up. I work hard and hone the material and after a while audiences expect what I do to be good.