Anything is possible as long as you're focused, determined and you really want to do it..

Kids, man, they're way too honest. They're like mini-alcoholics..

We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives..

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years..

You live by the cake, you die by the cake..

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake..

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run..

You know, a lot of people think that just 'cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you'll live a long liv….

The best advice bro: is think big, as big as you can possibly think, and shoot for that. The bigger you aim for, the bigger you're going to be. Set t….

I'm not fat. I'm fluffy!.

I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next g….

When you have nothing but big friends, you never get into arguments - except one. And that is, who is the biggest? I'll let you know right now, there….

Why would anybody connect to someone who has everything going for them? It's the person who has faults that people want to connect to. So people iden….

People can relate to someone who isn't perfect..

I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time..

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake..

I'm not fat. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside of me..

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American..

You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos..

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight..