George Bernard Shaw

Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.

Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity, and fashion will drive them to acquire any custom.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.

Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody can read.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances.

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them.

The longer I live, the more I realize that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time!

Physically there is nothing to distinguish human society from the farm-yard except that children are more troublesome and costly than chickens and calves and that men and women are not so completely enslaved as farm stock.

Ireland, sir, for good or evil, is like no other place under heaven, and no man can touch its sod or breathe its air without becoming better or worse.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

Although I cannot lay an egg, I am a very good judge of omelettes

You have learnt something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something.

Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated.

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.

Golf is typical capitalist luncay.

A day's work is a day's work, neither more nor less, and the man or woman who does it needs a day's sustenance, a night's repose and due leisure, whether they be painter or ploughman.

All progress depends upon the unreasonable person.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.