Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man..

In the theatre, a hero is one who believes that all women are ladies, a villain one who believes that all ladies are women..

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched..

The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism..

Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles..

Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few..

I have yet to find a man worth his salt in any direction who did not think of himself first and foremost..

Beauty makes idiots sad and wise men merry..

It is the mark of a superior person that, left to themselves they are able endlessly to amuse, interest and entertain themselves out of their persona….

Whenever a man encounters a woman in a mood he doesn't understand, he wants to know if she's tired..

It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on..

Criticism is the art of appraising others at one's own value..

I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after th….

Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men..

A ready way to lose your friend is to lend him money. Another equally ready way to lose him is to refuse to lend him money. It is six of one and a ha….

All that is necessary to raise imbecility into what the mob regards as profundity is to lift it off the floor and put it on a platform..

The notion that as a man grows older his illusions leave him is not quite true. What is true is that his early illusions are supplanted by new, and t….

A ham is simply any actor who has not been successful in repressing his natural instincts..

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote..

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out..

To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination..