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A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.
Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.
Whenever a man encounters a woman in a mood he doesn't understand, he wants to know if she's tired.
A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.
No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.
Love is the emotion that a woman feels always for a poodle dog and sometimes for a man.
Beauty makes idiots sad and wise men merry.
Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.
Love demands infinitely less than friendship.
Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness.
The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism.
A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.
What passes for woman's intuition is more often intrinsically nothing more than man's transparency.
Shaw writes plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve.
It may be said that artist and censor differ in this wise: that the first is a decent mind in an indecent body and that the second is an indecent mind in a decent body.
The most loyal and faithful woman indulges her imagination in a hypothetical liaison whenever she dons a new street frock for the first time.
Like everybody else, when I don't know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds.
All that is necessary to raise imbecility into what the mob regards as profundity is to lift it off the floor and put it on a platform.
The triumph of sugar over diabetes.
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