I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. “Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.” An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bound….

... That would be like stepping in front of a moving train and saying, 'Hey, honey, come stand next to me.'" I hopped off the wall and stood next to ….

This doesn't mean you're getting a discount." Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then." Gnome chok….

You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You’d make a fortune..

In diplomacy, like in great many other things, the rules of engagement survive only until one remarkable person decides to break them..

I’d give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous..

Had records so stellar, they had to lock their resumes in a drawer at night, so the golden light streaming from the pages wouldn't keep them awake..

Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs..

Sure, I didn't weigh a hundred and ten pounds , but my narrow waist let me bend and I could break a man's neck with my kick..

Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?" "You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did..

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place..

It’s never a good thing when the black volhv says “Uh-oh” and then runs for his life..

Black hair, angelic face, and devil eyes..

When you want to take over a city, you have to destroy the illusion of safety it provides. You have to hit the large well-protected establishments, f….

I would not leave you. I'll be there. Wherever you want 'there' to be..

They hold a grudge like it was their family treasure..

Give me an opportunity to fail," Saiman said. "I promise my corpse won't interrupt your 'I told you so' speech..

Your favorite volhv showed up half an hour ago, complaining about his lack of sleep and stupid gods. He says he brought his Batman belt..

People can snap. People have a limit. And some people are just plain nuts..

If he full-out flexed, I would probably faint, or jump off the building..

The idiot had shot their own dog. That’s what happened when the destructive potential of a man’s weapons exceeded his intelligence..