You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter sid….

I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of….

I try to dress smooth, I try to keep my face shaved, I try to keep my head cut. I try to do all the things to keep it smooth going!.

You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger..

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?.

All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest..

I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everythin….

I was the hallway clown in high school..

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache..

I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars..

I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious..

I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not c….

I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures..

When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you….

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima..

For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place..

I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I want to bring across. Once you figure out your bran….

There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two..

Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print..

People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on..

You can't let people take advantage of you. Go get that ass..