Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions?" -Ranger.

Nice dress. Take it off..

I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. P….

It's not the pizza, darlin', its my masculine presence." Joe Morelli.

Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. ….

I may not be the most patient woman in the world, or the most glamorous, or the most athletic, but I'm right up there at the top of the line when it ….

You know what this is?" Lula said. "This here's plane rage." Plane rage isn't allowed. It got taken off the allowed activities list along with eating….

If I could just get Broom to cooperate, we could fly, Glo said. Then we wouldn't have to worry about traffic. Harry Potter didn't have to worry about….

Life is about survival of the fittest, and Jersey is producing the master race..

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels..

If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!.

Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three..

Adaptation is one of the great advantages to being born and bred in Jersey. We're simply not bested by bad air or tainted water. We're like that catf….

These are desparate times." - Stephanie Plum.

Since I can barely write two books a year the best solution seems to be co-author projects. My goal isn't to get another writer to clone me... it's m….

Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are ….

He's going to jail. He can't see. He can't hear. He can't take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other prob….

Shirley's gonna be pissed," Gazarra said. "She hates when I get shot." To my recollection, the only other time Gazarra was shot was when he was playi….

My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men." Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. "We think this gu….

You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie..

When I was painting, I was painting stories I was telling myself. When I look back at it, moving to writing was a very natural progression for me..