You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter." Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines.

I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple..

I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman..

What are you doing back at the bakery?” I asked [Diesel]. “Did you know Wulf was here?” “No. I knew food was here..

Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Ben….

I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother..

Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs,….

Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times..

I wasn’t a fabulous cook. I didn’t have a boyfriend, much less a husband. And I wasn’t a big financial success. I could live with all those failings ….

I buy wine according to the bottle design. After I get down the first glass it all tastes okay to me so I figure you go for something classy to look ….

In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been ….

I think money isn't any good sitting around, so I spend some time in the shoe department at Saks..

Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up..

Kiss those cuffs good-bye." Lula from "Hard Eight" By Janet Evonavich.

Men!" "At least we don't fake it." "Listen, it was your uncle. And we were late, remember? So I made the sacrifice and got us there in time for desse….

The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. "Fainted," I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hand….

Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any..

Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. "Sorry about the blood." "What was it this time?" No one reported ….

Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who's knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. May….

Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. "I thought you were Baptist." "Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this..

Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots." "Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him..