If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," I said to Ranger. "Not drunk," Ranger said. "Just relaxed and naked..

That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee. Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli." I wasn't talking about Morelli. I was talking about….

My eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could see myself think.

She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight." [Stephanie] "How'd you get her to leave?" "Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining ….

And when I was in the trunk, I saw Jesus. And the Virgin Mary. And Ozzy Osbourne..

This is war,' I yelled through the door. Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war..

THE NOTE said the first clue was "in the big one." I looked at the jumble of letters that followed, and I saw no pattern. Not such a surprise, since ….

Ranger’s gonna hate this,” Tank said. “Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel..

Connie drove a silver Camry with rosary beads hanging from her rearview mirror and a Smith& Wesson stuck under the seat. No matter whatwent down, Con….

You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out..

You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills," I said. "I just enter. I don't usually break." "You broke down Pitch's door." "Lost my tem….

As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper..

I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joys….

Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside..

I looked over at him. "Is that a proposal?" There was total silence for a couple beats. "I'm not sure. It just popped out." "Let me know when you're ….

My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman..

He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush." Mary Lou Molnar.

You're not looking for a partner," Ranger said. "You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black d….

There's a small possibility that I might be a murder suspect" Stephanie.

I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate." Grandma Mazur.

When you get ready to write your novel, outline it first. There's nothing worse than getting halfway through and realizing you've painted yourself in….