You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The….

I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times..

Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks," I said to Ziggy. "I'll try," Ziggy said, "but it's a har….

If you want to cry, you're not going to like my books..

He asked me if I had adequate health insurance..

I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!.

Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage..