How many watched the President's speech last night? [half-hearted audience applause] How many watched American Idol ? [thundering applause] Okay, the….

What's going on with the Oakland Raiders? You know, I don't want to say the Raiders are bad, but you know, now, a lot of fans are painting their face….

Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya, if Arnold does run, he bet….

My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park..

John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks French, isn't it more like one in a trillion?.

Wikipedia was offline after an overheating problem at one of its data centers. It was pretty bad. For a while there, people had nowhere to go for pho….

A Newsweek poll said if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat Bush 49 percent to 46 percent. And today, President Bush called Newsweek ….

AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The ….

When we finally have this recall election in October, there could be as many as 200 people on the ballot. And you know what's really scary? Most of t….

There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach to 1st class they really beat up..

The nation's largest savings and loan, Washington Mutual, has become the biggest bank failure in history. See, the problem with the savings and loans….

The White House has finally found one guy that kinda remembers serving with President Bush in the National Guard. Now they just need to find someone ….

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to..

General Colin Powell shocked a lot of people in Washington by speaking out against President Bush's policies, saying that the world is beginning to d….

A number of plastic surgeons are claiming that looking at John Kerry now, as opposed to a few months ago, they believe he's had Botox shots. They cla….

At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what's the first thing they do when they arrest you? They pat you down..

According to a recent study, ten percent of 'Star Trek' fans meet the psychological criteria for addiction. Deprived of their favourite show, some Tr….

President Obama gave a big speech on climate change. He believes global warming is getting worse because apparently he's sweating a lot more during h….

You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one..

Rick Perry was philosophical about (his election losses). He said, 'Last week was Iowa. Yesterday was New Hampshire. ' He said at least it's giving h….

A woman in Great Britain has died after being hit in the back of the head by a golf ball, on the first hole. Her husband was so distraught, he only p….