... it's impossible to register any emotion without using some muscle which, in time, will produce a wrinkle. ... By the time she is thirty, a starle….

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats..

Children are different - mentally, physically, spiritually, quantitatively, qualitatively; and furthermore, they're all a little bit nuts..

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has ho….

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible..

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation..

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries..

It takes at least one to make a marriage..

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladd….

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't a….

I know all about improvisation and the free-form that mirrors the chaos of our time, but I do like to feel that the playwright has done some work bef….

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs..

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite..

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs..

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law,….

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them..

Real men don't do pickup lines just to sweep off every girls' feet. They do and trust their own instincts knowing what the girls' wants and needs. Vy….

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little..

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it..

I think if you can write a play, or produce a play, the first step toward success [is] if people don't want to kill themselves in the lobby. Now ther….

An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives..