The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink..

You know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes..

There is an old adage: love thy neighbor, but don't get caught..

The only thing harder than Terry Funk's legs are his arteries..

I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper..

If the Japanese are so smart, why do they eat with sticks?.

Cheating is only cheating when you get caught..

You never really know a woman till you meet her in court..

You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns...if she had two more legs..

Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix..

When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!".

I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school..

As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator!.

You know what they call a good looking girl in Philadelphia... a tourist..

When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops..

Crash Holly's so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo..

One man's trash is another man's girlfriend..

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma..

Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them..

Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible..

Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband..