Explore Quotes by Johnny Carson

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

I was going to hang it up on the twenty-fifth year of this show. I don't know why. Maybe twenty-five years is enough. And I found out that I was having so much fun doing the show that we decided to stick around for a while.

The mind starts to do things that you didn't even realize it could do. I suppose it's the manipulation. I suppose it's the sense of power, the center of attention, and the me-ism. And performers have to have that.

There comes a time or a moment when you know in which direction you're going to go. I know it happened to me when I was quite young.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

To be an entertainer, you gotta be a little gutsy, a little egotistical, so you have to pull back sometimes when people say, 'Well, he's stuck-up.' 'Stuck-up' is only another word for self-conscious.

I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.

Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.

I couldn't care less what anybody says about me. I live my life, especially my personal life, strictly for myself... Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized. I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you.

We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.

There was this billy goat at a movie studio who found and ate a can of film. When a nanny asked him how he liked it, he said, "It was all right but I liked the book better."

I heard from my cat's lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

We're more effective than birth control pills.

As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

Happiness is.....finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.

I can't say I ever wanted to become an entertainer. I already was one, sort of-around the house, at school, doing my magic tricks, throwing my voice and doing Popeye impersonations. People thought I was funny; so I kind of took entertaining for granted It was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.