Explore Quotes by Josh Billings

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.