Explore Quotes by Josh Billings

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.