It's not interesting enough if you don't know who you are, what you want. You need to make educated decisions about your moves and talk to people who….

I have a friend who actually told me that she'd rather be dead than be fat. This is a woman who, if I order a sandwich at lunch, she'll order a salad….

Everyone thinks I'm Jewish. I'm not. Last year I got a call: "Happy Hanukkah." I said "Ma, I'm not Jewish.".

He's a terrorist. Rush Limbaugh is a terrorist..

I don't get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you're jealous of them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful ti….

A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that..

The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad shape..

Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall ….

Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?.

I’m interested in so many different things and I’d like to cover a lot of territory. I’m trying to see my show as the Sunday Times. You have the Arts….

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefe….

Madeleine Albright, when you see her, she's not a beautiful woman and she's getting older. But you're saying that woman has gravitas. She knows what ….

Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and low and not funny..

I want a man in my life, not in my house..

I don't know what it's going to take for people to really wake up and understand that they [the Bush administration] are liars and they are murderers..

As far as people communicating with each other well I think that listening is important. You know really trying to read between the lines of what som….

I think that comedy is a good defense for a child. Because you know childhood is a nightmare as it is. And so why not use comedy and being funny as a….

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food..

I mean, I'd like to see (Mitt Romney's) house burn, one of his millions of houses burning down. It would be kind of cool - the Mormon fire patrol..

Republican Party hasn't been black friendly over the many centuries in this country..

Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them..