I knew absolutely nothing about bondage. I'd always presumed it was just an inventive way of keeping your partner from going home..

living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts.

Anyone living in Los Angeles who says they don't need a psychiatrist, needs a psychiatrist..

Home is where the heartache is..

If the Nobel Prize was awarded by a woman, it would go to the inventor of the dimmer switch..

Teenagers are obviously God's punishment for having sex in the first place..

What creates a writer is huge, psychological dysfunction..

I speak as your native guide to the mysterious tribe called the English. Dress code is everything. You can be a card-carrying Nazi, you can pay gigol….

It's a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a stray, worm-riddled dog, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a ….

The name Kylie can be used for Scrabble, as it is an aboriginal word for boomerang. Which is why Ms Minogue is so good at comebacks..

All men are into bondage, 'specially if they're real assholes at work all day..

Any woman who calls herself a post-feminist should keep her Wonderbra and burn her brains..

. . . planning a brilliant menu and preparing it beautifully doesn't guarantee a recipe for success..