Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit..

If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public..

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family..

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home..

Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion.

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower..

It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game..

It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you..

It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations.

You won't skid if you stay in a rut..

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee..

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen..

It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be..

A friend that ain't in need is a friend indeed..

In spite of all our speeding it's still the style to be late..

The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know..

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing..

Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness..

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature..

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans..