If there's any literary ability in a feller, getting fired out of a good government job will bring it out..

Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty..

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet..

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them..

Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn't do when he was young..

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught..

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands..

Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything..

An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake..

We like little children, because they tear out as soon as they get what they want..

Experience is a dear teacher but he delivers th' goods..

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it..

The rich man and his daughter are soon parted..

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street..

Nobuddy ever listened t' reason on a empty stomach..

"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? ".

Most parents don't worry about a daughter until she fails to show up for breakfast..

Flattery won't hurt you if you don't swallow it..

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny..

The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening..