Explore Quotes by Kinky Friedman

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

I don't apologize to people with an agenda.

I see an issue I like, and I support it.

I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

We were a country band with a social conscience.

If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.

I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

Always respect your superiors, if you have any.

If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.

Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.

I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.

Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.

Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart. And both of them were independents, by the way.

Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

I've got a head of hair better than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.