Explore Quotes by Kinky Friedman

I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes.

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.

The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship

You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.

Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.

I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.

Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy who's running the Ferris wheel. It's not the best seat in the house, but you see enough lights, action, people, and confusion to make you wonder if anybody knows what the hell's going on. If you're sitting out front, of course, it all rolls along as smoothly as a German train schedule, but as Willie, like any great magician, would be the first to point out, the real show is never in the center ring. As Willie always says, Fortunately, we're not in control.

I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.

Happiness is a moving target.

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.

Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.

May the God of your choice bless you.

There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979

But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream.

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.