Here is a les­son in writ­ing. First rule: Do not use semi­colons. They are trans­ves­tite her­maph­ro­dites rep­re­sent­ing absolutely noth­ing. All….

Where men had once howled and hacked at one another, and fought nip-and-tuck with nature as well, the machines hummed and whirred and clicked, and ma….

Pay no attention to Caesar. Caesar doesn't have the slightest idea what's really going on..

For some people, getting pregnant is as easy as catching cold." And there certainly was an analogy there: Colds and babies were both caused by germs ….

Here is the solution to the American drug problem suggested a couple years back by the wife of our President: "Just say no..

Billy Pilgrim says that the Universe does not look like a lot of bright little dots to the creatures from Tralfamadore. The creatures can see where e….

All male writers, incidentally, no matter how broke or otherwise objectionable, have pretty wives. Somebody should look into this..

She broke my heart. I didn't like that much. But that was the price. In this world, you get what you pay for..

And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that,….

But he is tired. He puts the pistol to his head again. He says, “I never asked to be born in the first place..

Electronic communities build nothing. You wind up with nothing. We are dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do something. We….

There is nothing like death to say what is always such an artificial thing to say: The End..

I'm so sorry - we had this cottage up in Lake Maxinkuckee, in Culver. I've thought so often of the poor Pottawattomies we took this land away from. T….

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got ab….

And I apologize to all of you who are the same age as my grandchildren. And many of you reading this are the same age as my grandchildren. They, like….

Words may deeply wound us, but we must run that risk to be free..

... humanity deserved to die horribly, since it had behaved so cruelly and wastefully on a planet so sweet..

There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind..

I'm a doctor of cowshit, pigshit, and chickenshit.....when you doctors figure out what you want, you'll find me out in the barn shoveling my thesis..

I have wanted to give Iraq a lesson in democracy - because we're experienced with it, you know. And, in democracy, after a hundred years, you have to….

Dear Sir, poor sir, brave sir." he read, "You are an experiment by the Creator of the Universe. You are the only creature in the entire Universe who ….